Most people would probably agree that they are plagued by "pen" issues. The pen issue is similar to the "sock" issue in that it embodies the question "where the heck do they all go?" There must be a secret stronghold somewhere brim full of pens and socks, but until this "Fort Knox" of writing instruments is discovered Dead Fred will have to do. Fred is awesome for multiple reasons!!! Not only does he take great care of your favorite pen, but he is grisly enough to deter any would-be thieves, and he's great for stabbing when you find yourself filled with rage at that guy who cut you off in traffic this morning!!! How's that for a stress reliever??!!!